The Top 5 Manliest Drinks With Girly Names

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You should never judge a book by its cover, and you should never judge a cocktail by its name. (Unless you’re talking about a Fuzzy Navel, in which case you may judge away, that’s a stupid drink.) Why? Because if you do, you might pass up on some of the finest, most potent beverages known to man all because you think they were mixed up for a woman. That’s right: some of the manliest drinks known to, well, man have been slapped with tragically effeminate names! Today we’re serving up the truth about five drinks not to miss, mister.

5 Long Island Iced Tea

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At first blush, there’s nothing at all assuming about a Long Island Iced Tea. Iced tea, while refreshing, is about the most boring beverage out there. And while parts of Long Island have their charm, it is essentially a hundred and forty mile long bedroom community of NYC. So why is this drink, named for a blasé beverage and a stretch of suburbs, on our list? Oh, because it is usually made with gin, rum, tequila, vodka and triple sec, plus just a bit of syrup and lemon to sweeten up those FIVE liquors. If you absolutely, positively must get drunk in a hurry, this is the ticket!

4 Mojito

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If you think the mojito is the hand-candy of the urban metrosexual, then you’re right. But if you think that means a more rugged, lumberjack or sports enthusiast type can’t rightly enjoy this fine drink, you’re wrong! A mojito is essentially a glass of rum with some lime juice and mint leaves spilled into it. And a bit of sugar and sometimes some soda water, but mostly, it’s just rum. You can think of a mojito like liquor dressed up in a nice suit: it looks (and tastes) great, but mostly, it’s still just liquor!

3 Fernet

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Never even heard of this one, ey? Well, most Americans haven’t, outside of the Bay Area of Northern California, where it’s quite popular, or unless you are a bartender—those who work in the alcohol industry seem to love this stuff, and they seem to want to keep it a secret. No more, we say! Fernet is a liquor par excellence, assuming you don’t want to taste anything other than Fernet for the rest of the night. It is flavored with a blend of herbs that some describe as having an anise/licorice flavor, others describe more like burning. The bottle and the name may call to mind a gentle little digestif; in fact, this spicy asskicker is usually 45% ABV and ready to rock your taste buds and your liver.

2 Hot Toddy

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A hot toddy might sound like children’s desert, we know. But it’s not. Here’s a hint as to what it is, though: whiskey. Or brandy. And a bit of spice. The hot toddy is the quintessential winter warmer beverage, the go-to drink after you spend an hour in knee-deep snow splitting logs. The drink is made by brewing a cup of tea and then liquoring that sucker up. And that’s it, pretty much. Feel free to add some lemon or a few cloves, but basically, just brew some tea and dump liquor in there.

1 Pink Gin

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The ingredients in a pink gin are as follows: bitters, gin. Repeat as necessary. The angostura bitters properly used in this cocktail is usually around 44% alcohol by volume, and is reddish in color. A good gin is around the same strength, and is clear. So there you have your pink color, and there have a drink the same strength as merely tipping back the bottle. Also, this drink was created for and by the19th century British Navy. That is all.